Adieu
I’m sure it’s obvious at this point that I’m not exactly keeping up with this blog. I’ve moved over to the Tumblr community, where I can be immersed in discussion about the SJ movement and take more of a passive role in talking about it. I needed this blog to help myself work through some things about feminism and life and social justice in general, but I’m no longer at a point where I need to talk everything out.
It’s a more casual, personal blog, but you can find me on Tumblr here.
I’m not shutting this one down, but it’s also not likely that I will be writing anything on it — at least not for a while.
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The Rhetoric of Sarah Palin
Pretty much everyone is discussing right-wing rhetoric following the tragedy in Arizona, and I think it’s something that needs to be discussed. No matter how the perpetrator of these terrible actions identifies, it is a fact that there is a culture of violence around politics right now, and that the right is encouraging it and making it grow on a large scale. What has bothered me, up to this point, is the focus on Sarah Palin in particular. This is not because she doesn’t deserve to be called out — she does — but because she is not the only person on the right who is using a position of power to encourage violence. Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh have hardly been mentioned by name in all of this, and they deserve their fair share of the blame. But then, Palin made the “blood libel” comment. And honestly, if you know that term, I don’t see how you can not know to what it actually refers. And I realized, in that moment, that Sarah Palin wants this to be about her, and she doesn’t really give a damn if she reveals herself as a Bigot McBigotface to do so, because the majority of her base does not care. We are the ones who care if she’s a bigoted asshat, and we are her enemies.
David A. Harris, President of the National Jewish Democratic Council, said:
Following this weekend’s tragedy, we—and many others—simply did two things: we prayed for our friend Gabby while keeping all of the murdered and wounded in our thoughts and prayers, and we talked in broad terms about our increasingly charged level of political debate—asserting that now is as good a time as any to look inward and assess how all of us need to dial back the level of vitriol and anger in our public square. Nobody can disagree with the need for both.
Instead of dialing down the rhetoric at this difficult moment, Sarah Palin chose to accuse others trying to sort out the meaning of this tragedy of somehow engaging in a “blood libel” against her and others. [NJDC]
And this is really indicative of Sarah Palin’s character as a whole. In a time when she should have either stayed silent or made an apology for her rhetoric, she rushed to cover her ass and then co-opted a term in the worst way possible in order to play the victim. In a time when we should be focusing on Gabrielle Giffords and the people who were killed and injured in the shooting, we are focusing on Sarah Palin, because Sarah Palin wants us to focus on her. And I know that, right now, I am talking about Palin and contributing to this. But henceforth I am going to make an effort to change — when I speak about right-wing rhetoric, I will not focus on one person, I will focus on the entire group that is encouraging this violent political climate. When I point out a specific instance, I will be sure to give attention to multiple people, rather than focusing on one.
I am never one to say that we should ignore an issue, because the left as a whole does that enough as it is. But right now, while we are having these important discussions, I think it’s vital to make them about more than Sarah Palin. I think we need to make them about Gabrielle Giffords, about the other victims of the shootings, about the victims of political violence everywhere. We need to make them about putting a stop to this, about standing up for our ideals, about holding people accountable. Does this require talking about Palin? Yes, I think so. But I think it also requires talking less about Palin than we have been, and a little more about everyone else.
Filed under: bigotry, feminism, politics | Leave a Comment
Tags: arizona, blood libel, gabrielle giffords, rhetoric, right-wing, Sarah Palin
Asgard: Whites Only?
Although it is usually seen as an unusual choice, Thor is my favorite comic book hero. (Come on guys, he’s a fucking Norse god.) Every time I see new information about the upcoming film, I get excited all over again; I’ve been anticipating this since they started the Avengers movies. But alas, all this is ruined, because Heimdall is being played by Idris Elba! At least, the Council of Conservative Citizens would have us think so. (I’m not linking the utter ridiculousness that is their website, but it’s easy enough to find.)
Guys, I can’t even articulate how ludicrous this is. A quote from the Council:
It seems that Marvel Studios believes that white people should have nothing that is unique to themselves.
Hahaha…oh, man, I am dying over here. We white people are so downtrodden! We have no movies with only white people! It’s not like our entire culture works to privilege us above everyone else!
The Council is a white supremacist group, so this really isn’t surprising from them. However, I have the sneaking suspicion that some comic book fans might use the same logic. ”But it wasn’t that way in the original comics!”
It’s true that the Thor comics are inundated with white people. It’s true that, classically, there is a great deal of segregation and underrepresentation of everyone who is not white. But shouldn’t we now be making up for that? Using the argument that it’s never been that way is a weak excuse. Perhaps it hasn’t, but when it comes to fiction it is not our duty to uphold the racism inherent in the originals. Rather, it is our duty to work toward changing it. The fact that a comic started in the 60s focuses intensely on white people (as well as the light = good, dark = bad dichotomy) is not surprising. But shouldn’t we now be taking a stand against that? Shouldn’t we be working to make our media more inclusive, and to rid it of the tendency to whitewash everything?
I don’t think this act is too much, I think it isn’t enough. The majority of the actors in this film are still white people. The majority of the actors in every film are still white people. Anyone who isn’t white tends to be slotted into a particular trope — fiery Latina, scary black man, smart Asian. Hardly anyone notices the underrepresentation of everyone who is not white. Hardly anyone actually notices that, when there is a small bit of representation, people of color are pushed into the same stereotypical roles. And yet everyone notices when a black man plays a strong, non-stereotypical character. We shouldn’t notice, because this should be a common occurrence. And when what should be happening constantly (but doesn’t) actually comes about, we should be excited, not worried that a racist legacy may be altered.
Filed under: bigotry | Leave a Comment
Tags: comic books, council of conservative citizens, idris elba, racism, thor, white supremacists
The Duchess
I finally got around to watching The Duchess the other night. I have many thoughts on it, none of which I’m sure how to put into words.
The social commentary in this film was heartbreaking in its truth. I’m not sure if they intended it to be such a stark picture of our current state of affairs (rather than of the past), but it was. It’s likely not a film I’ll watch again, but only because I don’t think I could bear to see those events play out another time. It is not one that I regret watching in the first place, however. It was most certainly not what I was expecting when I started it.
In Netflix, the movie was described thus:
Keira Knightley stars as Georgiana Spencer, a young duchess who indulges in extravagant vices and begins a scandalous affair with politician Charles Grey (Dominic Cooper) to balance her unhappy marriage to the duke of Devonshire (Golden Globe–nominated Ralph Fiennes).
This is not exactly a lie, but it doesn’t even begin to encompass the actual film.
(Spoilers ahead.)
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Tags: abuse, kiera knightley, rape, the duchess
Language and Freedom of Speech
What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to exist.
(Salman Rushdie)
I am an adamant free speech activist, and have spent no small amount of time defending the free expression of people whose ideas I despise. I have also been known to speak of language, and its power, and the uses of it that I find unacceptable. I do not think that these two are mutually exclusive.
Salman Rushdie had a huge influence on my life, both in terms of my thoughts on free speech and my thoughts on religion. I read Haroun and the Sea of Stories in high school, and it forever changed my outlook on what I had been taught was good and right. I’d feel safe saying that this was only because I was open to the message; I had been falling out of love with religion for a couple of years, though I always tried to rekindle my faith. Nevertheless, Rushdie is largely responsible for my atheism, my liberalism, and, indirectly, because of these two, my feminism. And so I am going to use another quote by him to help illustrate my opinion:
A book is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return.
I believe that there are some things that should not be said, for various reasons. I will also defend the right to say those things, even if I think they are awful and detrimental to our society. But this does not mean refraining from speaking out against something with which I don’t agree. This quote is about literature, but it applies to life – if you do not like something, ignore it, or offer your own version in return.
I don’t like when people say something is “gay” or “retarded,” or when “bitch” is used in a derogatory manner, or any number of phrases calculated to harm members of the population that don’t quite fit in with the privileged. And so I offer my own version of the way things should be in return. I talk about why I don’t like a certain phrase, why I think it should not be said. And sometimes, let’s be honest, I do just ignore it; there has to be balance or I would burn out. But banning a form of speech is not my intention or desire, and there is a difference between trying to educate and trying to edit. If someone is going to refrain from using a phrase, I want it to be because they understand what’s wrong with it, or at the very least because they respect me enough to be concerned about my opinion. I want it to be voluntary. Anything else goes against everything in which I believe. As someone who knows what it is like to consistently, systematically be silenced, it is something I would never wish on anyone else, no matter how much I disagree with their words.
As with everything, I’m not perfect at balancing the two. There are times when they come into conflict, and the only thing I can do is manage it in the best way I can. For example, I am more likely to focus on the utter douchebaggery of those who protest outside abortion clinics than their right to protest there. But I think when we begin to be willing to sacrifice the rights that have made it possible for us to be vehicles of social change (at least, to be so without endangering ourselves), we begin to lose the entire heart of the movement. Perhaps it is my relationship with Rushdie that has formed this opinion. After I first read Haroun and the Sea of Stories in high school, I did further research the author, as I tend to do. His experiences after writing The Satanic Verses engendered a deep respect for free speech in me, and made me think of it in a way I may not have if left to my own devices. We are all too prone to take for granted the things we were raised to see as givens. But no matter how I came to this, or whether I would have without one particular author, I know that I am incredibly privileged to be able to speak out against oppression. I am privileged to be openly atheist, feminist, and socialist, to be and say so many things, and not even the people who further a system I actively work against should have this right stripped from them.
Filed under: feminism, first amendment, opinion, personal, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Tags: free speech, language, salman rushdie, satanic verses
A Short Post
I know, I know. If I see a link to a website called Ladies Against Feminism, I should ignore it.
But I never learn. And now I must post, or else be pissed off about this all day.
This article discusses feminism — mainly, how feminism has destroyed the world. Here’s how the author defines feminism:
For the sake of the discussion, I’ll say that feminism is any movement that distracts a woman from her natural role as a wife, mother, nurturer, and guardian of the home.
This sentence, all by itself, embodies pretty much everything that is wrong with the article. It also illustrates why there is no possible way I could ever see this as anything but utter trash.
You see, I don’t want to be a wife or a mother, nor am I particularly a nurturer or a guardian of the home. The things that I want do not fall in line with what the author states should be my “natural role.” What’s more, I did not want these things even before I was feminist. I, admittedly, had trouble realizing that I had an option, but that is not the same. Without feminism it’s very likely I would have ended up trapped in a situation I despised. The author states,
I firmly believe that, had all husbands treated their wives in the fair and kind way they were supposed to, the utter concept of feminism would seem laughable.
This is simply not true. Even if my marriage situation was ideal by the author’s terms (i.e., if I had an affectionate, kind husband who provided for me flawlessly), I would be miserable. A gilded cage is a cage nevertheless, and any role that requires me to be subservient and wholly reliant on my romantic partner is abhorrent to me, no matter how kind he is.
It’s obvious that the author does not truly understand feminism, or why feminism is wanted and needed. She assumes that the role in life that she is happy with is the role that all women should embrace. But all of us who know that gender does not define the traits of human beings know that what is right for one woman is not right for every woman. If marriage, children, and homemaking are what make you happy, then that is what you should do. However, there has to be an acknowledgement that this is not right for everyone, and there has to be a choice. I can see why she hates feminism. Feminism is all about being able to choose your role, rather than obeying one that has been chosen for you. I have the choice to reject marriage and motherhood and to go make my own way — or, in short, to reject her idea of the only role a woman should take.
Academics and career are not a “treat;” they are now an obligation, and the reason why this is not fair to women is easy to see when you observe women juggling career with marriage, motherhood, and homemaking.
I don’t want to go in depth on this, but I thought it worthy to note that the author also blames feminism for the unfair distribution of household duties. This is something that is clearly the doing of a patriarchal society that tells us that women should be the primary caretakers; feminism advocates for equality in this realm, as in all others.
All of this is just the tip of the iceberg and in no way a full account of why I see feminism as nothing short of a tremendous social disaster and the cause of terrible tragedies in countless families and society as a whole. Truly, I could continue talking on and on about rampant divorce, promiscuity, abortions, the downfall of the father’s authority, and general confusion and misery that sadly, now plague the women of my generation.
Ah, my favorite paragraph in the article. I don’t really even know where to begin. Perhaps I should merely say this: I would proudly take responsibility for rampant divorce (a sign that people are leaving bad relationships), promiscuity (people expressing their sexuality freely and as they see fit), abortions (women taking control of their bodies and being given a choice of what to do with them), and the downfall of the father’s authority (the opinions of women having more equal weight with the opinions of men). If the confusion and misery she bemoans follow the lines of these examples, I’ll gladly take that as well.
Filed under: feminism | Leave a Comment
Tags: children, DESTRUCTION OF THE WORLD!, feminism, homemaking, ladies against feminism, LAF, marriage
Defining Feminism
The other night, two of my friends were telling me a story about a group of women who participated in the (literal) torture of several men. One friend referred to these women as simply “feminists,” the other “extreme feminists.”
This isn’t a personal failing on the part of my friends. The women in the story took the term for themselves, although their actions went against the very definition of feminism. The stereotype of the man-hating feminist, as erroneous as it is, is often what people connect with feminism. Those women were extremists, certainly, but extreme feminists? Absolutely not.
There isn’t just one way to do feminism. I know feminists who are married. I know feminists who believe marriage goes against the ideals of feminism. I know feminists who long for old-fashioned, courtly romance. I know feminists who prefer polyamory. I know one particular feminist who embraces both in her marriage. I know feminists who work full-time. I know feminists who stay home to take care of their children. I know Christian feminists, pagan feminists, atheist feminists. I know male feminists, female feminists, feminists who don’t accept or fall into the gender binary.
Feminists take many forms, but anyone who works for the domination of one gender over the others is not feminist. There is a pretty standard dictionary definition for feminism:
fem·i·nism
noun \ˈfe-mə-ˌni-zəm\
1: the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes
A feminist:
- Advocates for the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.
- Believes that there is current, significant, society-wide inequality and sexism.
- Doesn’t believe that men are the primary victims of inequality and sexism.
Navigate over to read Amp’s reasons for the second two aspects of the definition. I’ll wait.
Now, I’ll give the same disclaimer he did — I know that I do not (and should not) have the power to raise a staff Gandalf-like in the air and say “I declare this the only acceptable definition of feminism for anyone, ever! Let it be so!” (I will say that I believe any definition of feminism that doesn’t aim for equality is not feminism, and should really go by another name.) However, I think this is a great working definition of feminism.
The idea that feminism is a movement that requires change is an especially important one. If one does not believe there is a need for a change in the disparity of power, is there really a need to label yourself feminist? If feminism had accomplished all it needed to, if the ideals of feminism were in fact so much ingrained in our lives that working toward change was no longer necessary, there would be no need to declare your support for feminist ideals. It would be met with a resounding “So?” Therefore, the belief that there is a problem that must be changed is necessary, in my mind, to being feminist.
I really like the way point three is phrased as well. I think a great deal of the time people look at feminism and ask why feminists don’t worry more about equal rights for men, and think that it’s exclusionary not to do so. While it’s not the responsibility of the feminist movement to be a catch-all for egalitarianism, feminism does work toward gender equality. Every feminist I have ever met does believe that feminism helps men (which is not to say that every feminist thinks this, just the ones with which I’m acquainted), but men are not the focus of feminism because men are not the primary victims of inequality and sexism. They are still victims of it, though I’d say to a different degree. This ties into the change involved in point two — the problem is discrimination based on gender. Because this, on the whole, tends to manifest itself in a way that harms women, the main focus of the efforts to level the playing field is directed toward gaining rights for women.
But neither definition — even when you increase the criteria that must be met in order to be feminist — involves the domination of one gender over another. Neither involves saying that one gender is inherently bad or good (or more or less capable). Neither definition involves hatred or violence.
And yet what do most people think of, automatically, without any effort, when the term “feminist” is mentioned?
There are no easy solutions to this. I try to raise awareness of the true meaning of the term without going into a lecture on feminist theory every time this comes up. But, almost without fail, when the fact that I am feminist is dropped into the conversation I must go into detail — not in a way that says, “I’m not one of those feminists,” but in a way that says, “Those beliefs aren’t actually feminist.”
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Yesterday I spent an incredibly ridiculous amount of time attempting to have a discussion about feminism with someone who, it become obvious as the discussion progressed, did not actually want to discuss feminism, but rather explain to me — feeble minded lady that I am — what feminism is and how feminist discourse should be carried out.
I should know better. I’ve read Derailing for Dummies time and time again. I’ve laughed over the sad truth of the contents, and this entire conversation was like filling out a promising Bingo card. And yet I just let myself get involved in this discussion.
I think it’s harder to avoid getting involved in discourse with derailers when the derailer is someone you know — someone with whom you’d like to foster a mutual understanding. This is how too many of my pointless discussions come about. Random people can be infuriating, but are ultimately — for me, at least — easy to dismiss. But people I know, people with whom I’ve spent years building relationships…I want them to understand. I want them to at least attempt to see my point of view. And when discussions devolve to the point where I’m left shaking in anger and frustration, I remind myself not to get involved in the cycle again, but, somehow, the next time around they always drag me in.
I hate that I let this happen. I hate that the personal nature of these issues makes it impossible for me to just overlook certain behaviors. I don’t regret discovering the truth in feminism, but I won’t deny that personal relationships were much easier to handle before.
Over time, I have gained the ability to pick my battles, and let certain things slide. This makes things easier and harder. It’s easier because it lowers the rate of repetitive conversations in which I engage. It’s harder because it involves holding my tongue on issues about which I am passionate.
I have a loose formula for making the engage or not to engage decision. This involves the amount of exposure I will have to a person, how open I think they will be to what I’m attempting to tell them, and whether or not a particular sort of behavior is common in them. It’s tricky — if I spend a great deal of time with someone, repeated sexism is going to start to get to me; however, if the discussion takes a bad turn, dealing with the possible hostility fostered by it on a daily basis would not be pleasant.
Sometimes engaging is successful. I try to approach it in non-accusatory ways, although that isn’t always possible. (Side note, this article by Dan Savage got my father to stop using “pussy” as a derogatory term. You can never tell what will make things come together for people.)
The original point of this post was actually going to be a discussion on how inappropriate it is for men to attempt to dictate the terms of a conversation about feminism — not because men are bad, or because they don’t have a place in the discussion, but because they are coming at a conversation about their privilege and wanting exercise that privilege within the conversation. But, I think it might be better if I gave my personal guidelines for having discussions about privilege when I am the privileged person. I’m white, heterosexual, cisgendered, able-bodied, and middle-class, and I’ve engaged in discussions about all of these things. I understand that it can be uncomfortable, but I’ve learned that there are a few very important things to keep in mind in these situations.
1. In most cases, the discussion is not about you personally, nor is the discussion of your privilege meant to make you feel bad about yourself. It’s meant to make you understand so that you can begin working to change the inequality around you. If it’s not about you, it’s not about you.
2. There will be things brought to your attention that you have never seen and do not understand, because you have not experienced them. In some cases, you will wonder why these are such a big deal. This is because you have never experienced these things. Remember that it isn’t your place to comment on the importance of something if you’ve never had to deal with it.
3. Shut up and listen. If you think you understand the situation of a marginalized person better than that person can, it’s because you’ve been taught that your outlook on life is superior. This is because you are privileged.
4. If someone refers you to a link explaining a concept, do not take it personally. These people not only deal with these concepts in action every day, it’s also a safe bet that they’ve attempted to explain them to people several times over. There are resources out there for a reason — if someone is actually taking the time to try to help you learn, read the material they send you.
5. Realize that they are going to be passionate about this subject. They are going to take it personally, and you are going to fuck up and say things that piss them off. Try to understand why, and, once you do, own up to making a mistake. Plowing forward in an attempt to prove why you were right is not the correct course of action.
Putting yourself aside in order to have these discussions isn’t easy, but it’s also important to examine why it isn’t easy. A large part of this is because, when it comes to whichever area you are discussing, you are not used to having to put yourself aside. Society has ingrained in you that you are the correct and rightfully dominant side of the equation, and that listening to the “wrong” side is beneath you. It ceases to be a conscious decision — you try to dominate because this has become the default course of action. This isn’t right, of course, but it doesn’t mean you should become a ball of self-loathing when you realize you’ve done it. Working to change behaviors and the dynamic of relationships is much more useful than self-flagellation. Apologize, and then move on. Going on about your own guilt just forces everything to focus on you, which, again, means you are dominating the conversation…and this really isn’t about you.
Self-examination is an integral part of discourse on privilege, and the willingness to honestly engage in it is vital. If you aren’t capable of doing that yet, do some more research on your own before attempting to break into a discussion. And always remember that, as an ally inside of the privileged group, your opinion will hold sway with others like you. It’s a sad truth that men discussing feminism will be taken more seriously than women (and the same holds true for white people and racism and heterosexuals and LGBTQ rights). If you are truly willing to be a part of the conversation, get educated, ask questions of those willing to give you answers, and don’t be afraid to be a vocal supporter.
Filed under: feminism | 3 Comments
Recent Entries
- Adieu
- The Rhetoric of Sarah Palin
- Asgard: Whites Only?
- The Duchess
- Language and Freedom of Speech
- A Short Post
- Thoughts on Rocky Horror
- The Importance of Consent
- Defining Feminism
- Thoughts about discussions of privilege, from both sides of the conversation.
- In which I use more parentheses than I ought.
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